A message that departs from the main topic       
   PROSE > Dear 2006

The day you came, I greeted you with a brief journal entry that ended with the line: "I don't feel weird." And you went ahead and made me feel exactly that for the whole time we were together. I must say, I appreciate your brand of humor.

At work, I went from writing one-page articles to full-length reports. Also, I went from having fun at work to thinking of it as just another something that I have to get through. My priorities have clearly shifted and this I feel must be the reason I have all these barriers up around me when I am around my co-workers. I have drawn a line between me and them and I never let anyone cross over. This, of course, is a frustrating set-up and my resentment at my inability to cross that line myself has resulted in my resentment directed towards them. You see, I prefer to think of them as just people I work with and not really...people. I tolerate the fact that I have to deal with them, but I jump at every opportunity to pretend otherwise.

Law school, I'm afraid, is still something that I feel I must go through. I am asking myself the same questions I have asked myself a year ago. I have come to accept that I will probably ask this same set of questions for years to come, but I find that the more I ask, the less necessary it feels to find the answer. Everything does not have to have an answer. And the right answer isn't always the best.

I made several new friends and lost contact with a few. If you ask me how I feel about this, I will say in all honesty that there is only one person that I am particularly regretting to have lost contact with. The rest I do not feel any strongly for. I can count my true friends in one hand and they are enough. I do not feel I need more.

You gave me a muse, and what a persistent one it was. Some nights I would find myself going to bed and my mind would be filled with all these images and words...words.... But I was not kind to my muse. In fact, I resented it, so you took it back and left me with nothing but slang words and much cussin'.

In exchange, you let me discover music again and my fascination for Eastern Culture took on a different form. Thanks to that, I now have a bunch of CDs and a hard drive half-filled with songs I do not understand. I am glad to have been introduced to the Japanese pop culture and realize that the fickleness of the masses and the shallowness of celebrity, like music, are universal. I feel this newly attained perspective is significant because now I can honestly say that my own people are not so different. We are just as confused as the rest of the world and there is no such thing as a "Filipino Identity Crisis." The truth is every people in the world is experiencing the same. It's called "Globalization" and we are the pioneers.

It took a debate and one summer for me to realize that I am in favor of death penalty. Strangely enough, my task in that debate was to forward the necessity of abolishing death penalty because it is inhuman, not restorative and does not deter crime. There you go again with that sense of humor.

All in all, I think you have been good to me, 2006. Perhaps, more often than not, I was far too involved with my stuff that I forgot to stop and smell the proverbial roses. That is, until you practically shoved them right under my nose, and then I remember. And for that I am forever grateful.

Thank you.

Copyright © 2004 Excursus. All rights reserved.