There are certain doors to the world that we are not willing to step into.
It's like being in a game where secret passages suddenly open whenever you find yourself standing at a certain pre-determined point, triggering the automatic doors and revealing to you the existence of something you have heretofore been unaware of.
Do you follow that passage and find out where it leads? Or do you stay at your self-appointed task and labor under its certainty?
Have you made life-changing decisions following that secret passage? Or have you simply not taken it into account? And how many times have you asked yourself questions you are afraid to ask?
Is this right? Did I make the right choice?
But don't you think perhaps it is not whether it is the right or wrong choice? Don't you wonder if even the concept of "right" and "wrong" are real, or were they invented by the moralists? Just as the concept of the "mean" -- the middle ground -- is a fallacious lie that the bourgeois created, is there an exact scale with which we can measure all our actions?
Morality is a choice between right and wrong actions. If you choose right, then you are moral. If you choose wrong, then you are immoral. But is it the act of choosing itself that is moral or immoral? Or is the consequences of such an act that is the real indicator?
If it is the latter, it gives you a glimpse of the real nature of our society, which is utilitarian. For instance, there is no more destructive event and more stark expression of man's violent nature than war. And yet, some wars are inevitable and even good, despite the fact they result in the loss of millions of lives. How can we say that this is a good war? Because in killing the enemy, we save more lives than we have lost. Do numbers lie? It's true that they don't but it's also true that people do.
I think that when you choose (choose to do with reason), you are only doing what is right by you. You choose because you can, not because you want to be right in the eyes of society, even if your choice may end up to be in conformity to the standard. The fact that you even made the choice, rather than blindly accepting what has been instilled upon you from childhood, is what sets you apart from the rest.
What I'm saying is it might be in your utilitarian nature to always gauge your actions by their consequences, but if you choose to do those right actions when you could have chosen not to, you are doing more than just conforming. Then it no longer matters whether your choices are right or wrong.
So it is with life.
Haven't you wondered how senseless life is? From the first moment we draw our breath, we start to die. Why do you suppose children cry when they survey the world outside their mother's womb for the first time? Could it be that they know their inevitable fate? And why struggle when you know for a fact that it's useless? The very attempt to give life meaning is meaningless.
So you do things without thinking too much about the consequences and you think in doing so you are free.
But is this not the very nature that you are seeking to get away from? It is in the very nature of things for you to accept that this is your fate and that you have no choice but to go in accordance with it while inside you brew with anger and resentment.
I say: you are needlessly weighing yourself down. In so doing you are not free; you are like a soul bound to the chains of your mortal fate.
If you live.... If you choose to live --
I think that is what freedom means. It is standing at a precise spot, watching a door open and choosing not to ignore it.